damn...wth mansxsx....argh!!!!!ok...i jus talked to my cousin u noe,wishin her gud luck and all...den,she told me she saw alan in woodlands interchange...it just so happen that i was dere too..she told me that and i was like so screwedup..i already left somethin so chaota and i jus got diz news...im like..wth!!...how come i didn get to meet him?!?!why???why isit always like diz???how come i dun get to meet him or anitin???how come we never get to meet each other???why??i want to meet him...god...please...why??why arent we meant for each other??when can we finally be with one another??or isit we are not meant to be with each other??maybe we should have been friends onli..why did i even went to the relationship of stead??why??if i didn accept him den,by now we should stil have been friends..now,i dun even know why im cryin at all...its out of the blue kinda thing i guess...mayb i felt sad..mayb i realli miss him...im sorry...im sorry for not bein Able to fulfil ure wishes and dream...


To Watch You Leaving . . .
is to know such pain, it's jagged edges tearing into my soul.
As a stake from the garden tears into the warm, dark earth.
To Watch You Leaving . .
knowing all the while that never again will I fit myself,
warm with sleep, against your solid back.
Nor hear your steady breathing.
Or feel the beating of your heart.
To Watch You Leaving . . .
aware in every moment of every day that my dreams,
my future; once tied with silken ribbons to yours, will never come to be.
And the mornings once so silent and hopeful,
us gazing at the mountains and so gently awaiting forever - are now but small pieces of my past.
To Watch You Leaving . . .
your heart a tight fist of anger and your dry eyes betraying nothing of you.
I cry for both of us, my love, because you will not.
To Watch You Leaving . . .
is to know that I've lost my place on this earth.
My station.
My heart's home.
That I will wander, forever a nomad.
Alone and afraid.
And in my troubled dreams watch you leave, again and again.
For the balance of my days.